Playmate: Player Data Sheet

Mark Daniel Redlich - Lead Guitar

Bust: I'm not a complete one yet.

Waist: I'm not a complete one yet.

Hips: I've got two.

Height: 5'8" (172.72cm)

Weight: 170# (0.07711 metric tons)

Birthdate: December 13

Birthplace: Cornfield - it was so cold out that day...

Mark...?  Mark?  Are you okay?

Ambitions: To solve hunger, strife, suffering, and conflict throughout the world using only Blistex and ostrich eggs.

Turn-ons: switches, buttons, ignitions... This is kind of a dumb category don't you think..?

Turn-offs: Oh wait, I get it! You mean, what turns me on, right? Okay, let me go back and answer.

Where I see myself in 5 years: Wait, what do you mean I can't go back?? Okay, FINE. Have it your way.

Favorite fantasy: Well, there's this Hobbit, and he has this ring, see? And he has to destroy it or else the evil lord....

Yeah! Oh, what NOW? Are you going to keep interrupting me?

Sorry. It's just...That's my favorite fantasy story. Is that all right with - Ohhhhh, great. I see how it is. You can interrupt at any time, but I can't go back and fix my answers? Well that's lame then. Bunch of crap, that is.

Last place you would find me: In your dreams, pal.

Whatever. Whatever, yourself! Can we get back to this interview sometime soon?.

Fine. Well-known fact about Maxx Smart: Has a penchant for wearing ugly shirts at performances.

Little-known fact about Maxx Smart: When cornered, will curl up into a protective chocolate coating. He's delicious.

Well-known fact (general): Eating breakfast gives you energy for the day!

Proof that Maxx Smart is a big geek: "In High School, one Valentine's Day I hand-delivered fake love notes to 5 different girls in the school. Halfway through the note, I said "pysch!" and then apologized for putting them through the emotional turmoil. Most of them did think I was serious at first. True story."

Proof that Maxx Smart is a big stud: "I totally made out with all 5 girls later that week. All simultaneously. True story."

Proof that you shouldn't believe a word Maxx Smart says: "See Above. That last bit is not so true really..."

They look like they're UP to something...
*Ooh!*
Nothing to see here.  Please move along.
Not shown: Neve Campbell, under the water.
An early meeting of Mark and Bo while Bo was working at Comedy Sportz. Mark is the one on the left. Whoa, major deja vu!
Mark got mad "ups", yo.
Mark out at the karaoke bars on the weekends.

Mark certainly is a "Wild Thing".

You can E-mail Mark at Maxx_Smart@RandomMaxx.com
He'll typically respond, sometimes with funny pictures, sometimes with excerpts from his dissertation, sometimes just with strings of Random gibberish. But occasionally there are nuggets of golden wisdom to be panned from the silty residue of his rhetoric.

Any resemblance of this page to the playmate data sheets found in the centerfolds of Playboy Magazine is purely intentional and intended for satiric purpose. In other words, please don't sue us, Hef.

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Revised -- June 20, 2003
url: http://www.randommaxx.com/smart.htm